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Don't talk about yourself so much...we'll do that when you leave.

Rodney Dangerfield

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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Leave
Talk
Much

More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

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When I was a kid I got no respect. The time I was kidnapped, and the kidnappers sent my parents a note they said, We want five thousand dollars or you'll see your kid again.
Rodney Dangerfield
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My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Oh, when I was a kid, I was poor. Christmas, I got no presents. Well, there was one Christmas, on our front lawn - Prancer and Dancer - they dropped off a little something.
Rodney Dangerfield
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What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
Rodney Dangerfield
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My wife is so fat that the last time I saw something that big it was grazing.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Better to keep quiet and let people think you're an idiot than speak up and confirm it.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I don't get no respect. I called Suicide Prevention. They tried to talk me into it.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I bought a new book, '100 new ways to make love'. I ended up in traction - it was a misprint.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I come from a stupid family. During the civil war my great uncle fought for the west.
Rodney Dangerfield
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You live with life's disappointments and learn from them. At seventy-eight, I know it all.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I got myself good this morning too. I did my pushups in the nude, I didn't see the mouse trap.
Rodney Dangerfield
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She was so ugly that her face could stop a sundial.
Rodney Dangerfield
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During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me… Just the other night she called me from a hotel.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I bought a perfect second car... a tow truck.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was poor. I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes.
Rodney Dangerfield
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All my wife and I do is fight about sex. The other night, we really had it out. Well, I'll put it this way - I had it out.
Rodney Dangerfield
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My problem is that I appeal to everyone that can do me absolutely no good.
Rodney Dangerfield
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When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.
Rodney Dangerfield