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Don't talk about yourself so much...we'll do that when you leave.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Leave
Talk
Much
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
I said to a girl I'd been seeing, come home with me, honey, and I'll show you where it's at. She said, You'd better, because the last time I could'nt find it.
Rodney Dangerfield
Time and tide and hookers wait for no man.
Rodney Dangerfield
She was old too, when she went to school they didn't have history.
Rodney Dangerfield
With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, How can I get my kite in the air? He told me to run off a cliff.
Rodney Dangerfield
I'm a downer. I've been depressed my whole life. Figure it out.
Rodney Dangerfield
I was making love to my wife the other night, I looked up. She was on the phone.
Rodney Dangerfield
What a childhood I had. My parents sent me to a child psychiatrist. The kid didn't help me at all.
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife has cut our lovemaking down to once a month, but I know two guys she's cut out entirely.
Rodney Dangerfield
I don't get no respect
Rodney Dangerfield
With my old man I got no respect. He told me never take candy from a stranger unless he offered me a ride.
Rodney Dangerfield
I get no respect... I tell you, when I was born, the doctor smacked my mother
Rodney Dangerfield
I told my wife 'hey honey come on, let's make love like the old days.' She asked me for 50 bucks.
Rodney Dangerfield
My son's an idiot. He sprained his ankle playing golf. He fell off the ballwasher.
Rodney Dangerfield
I say 'no' to drugs. Whenever someone asks me for some of my drugs I say, 'no.
Rodney Dangerfield
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
Rodney Dangerfield
I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
Rodney Dangerfield
Never guess your wife's size. Just buy anything marked petite and hold on to the receipt.
Rodney Dangerfield
my wifes cooking is so bad the flys fix our screens
Rodney Dangerfield
I had a date with an inflatable girl. Now I got an inflatable guy looking for me.
Rodney Dangerfield
She was so ugly that her face could stop a sundial.
Rodney Dangerfield
