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Don't talk about yourself so much...we'll do that when you leave.

Rodney Dangerfield

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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Leave
Talk
Much

More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

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My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.
Rodney Dangerfield
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My wife made me join a bridge club... I jump off next Tuesday.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I have tried a little kinky stuff. A woman called me and said, 'I have mirrors all over my bedroom. Bring a bottle.' I brought Windex.
Rodney Dangerfield
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With my old man I got no respect. He told me never take candy from a stranger unless he offered me a ride.
Rodney Dangerfield
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My cousins gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I'm getting so old my insurance company sends me 1/2 a calendar!
Rodney Dangerfield
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I'm a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping tom booing me.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I told my kids, Someday, you'll have kids of your own. One of them said, So will you.
Rodney Dangerfield
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My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
Rodney Dangerfield
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When I was a kid I got no respect. The time I was kidnapped, and the kidnappers sent my parents a note they said, We want five thousand dollars or you'll see your kid again.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I'd like to get some new clothes, but I can't find a Big and Short store.
Rodney Dangerfield
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One night she told me to put out the garbage. I told her you cooked it, you take it out.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I like to date schoolteachers. If you do something wrong, they make you do it over again.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I asked him Who said you could fool around with my wife he said everybody.
Rodney Dangerfield
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You know you're old when your family talk about you in front of you. What are we going to do with Pop? We have company tonight.
Rodney Dangerfield
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You take care and I hope I'll run into you - when I'm driving.
Rodney Dangerfield
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My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.
Rodney Dangerfield
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My cousin is gay, in school while other kids were dissecting frog, he was opening flies.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.
Rodney Dangerfield