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Don't talk about yourself so much...we'll do that when you leave.

Rodney Dangerfield

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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Leave
Talk
Much

More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

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When I was born the doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, Look, twins!
Rodney Dangerfield
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I don't get no respect. I called Suicide Prevention. They tried to talk me into it.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I come from a stupid family. My uncle heard that most deaths occurs within ten miles of the house...so he moved.
Rodney Dangerfield
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My wife has to be the worst cook. I don't believe meatloaf should glow in the dark
Rodney Dangerfield
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On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
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My wife can't cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.
Rodney Dangerfield
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My mother used to rock me - and she used big rocks.
Rodney Dangerfield
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My ex-wife is a water sign and I'm an earth sign. Together we made mud.
Rodney Dangerfield
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We were poor. we were so poor, in my neighborhood the rainbow was in black-and-white.
Rodney Dangerfield
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My wife has teeth like the stars... they come out at night.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I tell ya, my wife was never nice. On our first date, I asked her if I could give her a goodnight kiss on the cheek - she bent over!
Rodney Dangerfield
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With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I went to a freak show and they let me in for nothing.
Rodney Dangerfield
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One time my whole family played hide and seek. They found my mother in Pittsburgh!
Rodney Dangerfield
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I knew a girl so ugly, I took her to the top of the Empire State building and planes started to attack her.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Well with girls I don't get no respect. I had a blind date. I waited two hours on the corner. A girl walked by. I said Are you Louise? She said, Are you Rodney? I said, Yeah. She said, I'm not Louise.
Rodney Dangerfield
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My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I once dated a girl that was wild. She was so wild that one night she gave her phone number to the mechanical bull.
Rodney Dangerfield
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The other night a mugger took off his mask and made me wear it.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I told my wife 'hey honey come on, let's make love like the old days.' She asked me for 50 bucks.
Rodney Dangerfield