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Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Humor
Fire
Year
Lasts
Last
Prairie
Funny
Cake
Years
Birthday
Like
Looked
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
I'm a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping tom booing me.
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When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
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I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
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My wife is so fat that the last time I saw something that big it was grazing.
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A hooker once told me she had a headache.
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My wife she's fat. Why, if she lost a few pounds, she'd be perfectly round.
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You know you're old when your family talk about you in front of you. What are we going to do with Pop? We have company tonight.
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When I told my wife she was lousy in bed - she went out - she got a second opinion.
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I told my wife 'hey honey come on, let's make love like the old days.' She asked me for 50 bucks.
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I recently had double-bypass surgery. As they wheel you in, the doctor always gives you a last look. You know that look. That look of confidence to make you feel good. I always say to every doctor, If I don't make it, I'll never know it.
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My ex-wife is a water sign and I'm an earth sign. Together we made mud.
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I asked my wife, 'Is there somebody else?' She said, 'There MUST be.'
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The other night a mugger took off his mask and made me wear it.
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She was so ugly that I took her to a dog show and she won first prize.
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When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.
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My mother used to rock me - and she used big rocks.
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My wife can't cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.
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The shape I'm in, I could donate my body to science fiction.
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She failed her drivers test. She couldn't get used to the front seat. It took her four lessons to learn to sit up.
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Don't talk about yourself so much...we'll do that when you leave.
Rodney Dangerfield
