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Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
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Humor
Fire
Year
Lasts
Last
Prairie
Funny
Cake
Years
Birthday
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong.
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One year they asked me to be poster boy - for birth control.
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I'm getting so old my insurance company sends me 1/2 a calendar!
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Oh, when I was a kid, I was poor. Christmas, I got no presents. Well, there was one Christmas, on our front lawn - Prancer and Dancer - they dropped off a little something.
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My father gave me a bat for Christmas. The first time I tried to play with it, it flew away.
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My mother used to rock me - and she used big rocks.
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My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.
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My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
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I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
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Time and tide and hookers wait for no man.
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My wife says 90% of sex occurs between the ears. But I need a girl who can blow more just my mind.
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What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
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I shouldn't tell jokes about my wife. she's attached to a machine that keeps her alive... The refrigerator.
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When we got married my wife told me I was one in a million. I found out she was right.
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I am the world's oldest teenager. I've never lost my youthful attitude.
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My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
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My wife is so fat that the last time I saw something that big it was grazing.
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I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push.
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She was old too, when she went to school they didn't have history.
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When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
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