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Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Like
Looked
Humor
Fire
Year
Lasts
Last
Prairie
Funny
Cake
Years
Birthday
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
Better to keep quiet and let people think you're an idiot than speak up and confirm it.
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I had a date with an inflatable girl. Now I got an inflatable guy looking for me.
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If you could learn to make love, I could fire the chauffer.
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With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
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I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
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A sense of humor is rare. It isn't telling a joke about how there are three ways to get to heaven. It's being in a restaurant and hearing someone say, Everyone's got their tale of woe, and then turning around and saying, Unfortunately, in life, there's more woe than tail.
Rodney Dangerfield
My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
Rodney Dangerfield
Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was poor. I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes.
Rodney Dangerfield
I asked him Who said you could fool around with my wife he said everybody.
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Me and my dad used to play tag, he'd drive!
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I get no respect... I tell you, when I was born, the doctor smacked my mother
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He who laughs last didn't get it in the first place.
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I bought a perfect second car... a tow truck.
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With sex my wife thinks twice before she turns me down. Yeah, once in the morning and once at night.
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When I was a kid I got no respect. When I went on the roller coaster, my old man told me to stand up straight.
Rodney Dangerfield
We learned sexual technique from our dog. He taught how to beg, and he taught my wife how to roll over and play dead.
Rodney Dangerfield
I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
Rodney Dangerfield
It's lonely on the top when there's no one on the bottom.
Rodney Dangerfield
Last week my tie caught on fire, some guy tried to put it out with an axe.
Rodney Dangerfield
I told my wife 'hey honey come on, let's make love like the old days.' She asked me for 50 bucks.
Rodney Dangerfield
