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She failed her drivers test. She couldn't get used to the front seat. It took her four lessons to learn to sit up.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Took
Seats
Humor
Failed
Four
Test
Funny
Tests
Learn
Fronts
Used
Lessons
Front
Seat
Couldn
Drivers
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
I've been writing jokes since I'm fifteen. Not out of happiness, but to go to a different place, because reality wasn't good to me.
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Last week my tie caught on fire, some guy tried to put it out with an axe.
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My cousin is gay, in school while other kids were dissecting frog, he was opening flies.
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Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire.
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I bought a new book, '100 new ways to make love'. I ended up in traction - it was a misprint.
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I once dated a girl that was wild. She was so wild that one night she gave her phone number to the mechanical bull.
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My wife can't cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.
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I live in a bad neighborhood. Why, I saw two complete strangers share a taxi - yeah, one guy took the radio and the other guy took the tires.
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I once had a problem ... so I tried group sex. Now I have a new problem - who to thank.
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I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
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I don't get no respect. I called Suicide Prevention. They tried to talk me into it.
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When I was a kid I got no respect. I told my mother, I'm gonna run away from home. She said, On your mark.
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My cousins gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.
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When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.
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I'm not a sexy guy. I went to a hooker. I dropped my pants. She dropped her price.
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My car broke down just the other day, I called triple A, they came and towed me away!
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My kid wants to be a prison warden when he grows up so he can put thumb tacks on the electric chairs.
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I got myself good this morning too. I did my pushups in the nude, I didn't see the mouse trap.
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I tell ya, my wife was never nice. On our first date, I asked her if I could give her a goodnight kiss on the cheek - she bent over!
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I tell ya when I fly, I don't get no respect. I took one of those cheap flights, no frills. I finished eatin' and had to do the dishes.
Rodney Dangerfield
