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Boy is my wife stupid. It takes her and hour and a half to watch 60 minutes. My daughters no bargain either. In public school she was voted most likely to conceive.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Public
Watch
Bargains
Hours
Humor
Voted
Half
Minutes
Conceive
Funny
Stupid
Daughters
School
Boys
Likely
Takes
Hour
Wife
Daughter
Either
Watches
Bargain
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
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She was so fat that her clothes are made by Omar the tent maker.
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I told my wife a man is like wine, he gets better with age. She locked me in the cellar.
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Cars and women are a lot alike. They lie about the milage.
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My kid wants to be a prison warden when he grows up so he can put thumb tacks on the electric chairs.
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My son's an idiot. He sprained his ankle playing golf. He fell off the ballwasher.
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I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
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This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.
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School is a place were you go to eat your lunch
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I told my wife 'hey honey come on, let's make love like the old days.' She asked me for 50 bucks.
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I have three kids, one of each.
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When we got married my wife told me I was one in a million. I found out she was right.
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One night she told me to put out the garbage. I told her you cooked it, you take it out.
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His breath is so bad why every time he smokes he blows onion rings.
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One night I came home. I figured, let my wife come on. I'll play it cool. Let her make the first move. She went to Florida.
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I once had a problem ... so I tried group sex. Now I have a new problem - who to thank.
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I don't get no respect
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He who laughs last didn't get it in the first place.
Rodney Dangerfield
