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One night she told me to put out the garbage. I told her you cooked it, you take it out.

Rodney Dangerfield

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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Funny
Night
Take
Cooked
Garbage
Humor
Told

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I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
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She was so fat that her clothes are made by Omar the tent maker.
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I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
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My wife has teeth like the stars... they come out at night.
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I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, Are you going to hate yourself in the morning? She said, No, I hate myself now.
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My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
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I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
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I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push.
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