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I once had a problem ... so I tried group sex. Now I have a new problem - who to thank.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Group
Tried
Sex
Groups
Humor
Funny
Problem
Thank
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
When I was a kid, I never went to Disneyland. My ol' man told me Mickey Mouse died in a cancer experiment.
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Last time I tried to make love to my wife nothing happened, so I said to her, 'What's the matter, you can't think of anybody either?'
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If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong.
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I told my doctor I think my wife has VD. He gave himself a shot of penicillin.
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Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
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Group sex, are you kidding, I had group sex - my wife screwed in front of the jury.
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When we got married my wife told me I was one in a million. I found out she was right.
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You take care and I hope I'll run into you - when I'm driving.
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I've been writing jokes since I'm fifteen. Not out of happiness, but to go to a different place, because reality wasn't good to me.
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I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
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I had a date with an inflatable girl. Now I got an inflatable guy looking for me.
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With my wife I get no respect. I fell asleep with a cigarette in my hand. She lit it.
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When I go to a nude beach, I always take a ruler, just in case I have to prove something.
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My ex-wife is a water sign and I'm an earth sign. Together we made mud.
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You wanna have laughs? Do what I do. When I go through a tollbooth, I keep going. I tell the guy, The car behind me is paying for two.
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He found a new way to cover up his bad breath. He holds up his arms.
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I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
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Dad told me to stop running in circles, I couldn't, so he nailed down my other foot!
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School is a place were you go to eat your lunch
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I once dated a girl that was wild. She was so wild that one night she gave her phone number to the mechanical bull.
Rodney Dangerfield
