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She was so fat that her bathtub has stretch marks.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Mark
Humor
Funny
Bathtub
Bathtubs
Marks
Stretch
Fats
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
Sure I smoked pot in hospital. My wife won't let me toke at home.
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Dad told me to stop running in circles, I couldn't, so he nailed down my other foot!
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Don't talk about yourself so much...we'll do that when you leave.
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My wife has cut our lovemaking down to once a month, but I know two guys she's cut out entirely.
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My wife can't cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.
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Hey, did somebody step on a duck?
Rodney Dangerfield
You don't know who to believe. Like Abraham Lincoln. He said all men were created equal. He never went to a nude beach.
Rodney Dangerfield
To give you an idea how well I was doing at the time I quit, I was the only one who knew I quit.
Rodney Dangerfield
My kid wants to be a prison warden when he grows up so he can put thumb tacks on the electric chairs.
Rodney Dangerfield
You live with life's disappointments and learn from them. At seventy-eight, I know it all.
Rodney Dangerfield
I asked my wife if she would put out the garbage. she said why should I you never put out for me.
Rodney Dangerfield
My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
Rodney Dangerfield
I bought a perfect second car... a tow truck.
Rodney Dangerfield
I told my wife 'hey honey come on, let's make love like the old days.' She asked me for 50 bucks.
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I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor they sent a priest up to talk to me and he said, ' On your mark...'
Rodney Dangerfield
If it wasn't for pick-pockets I'd have no sex life at all.
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife has teeth like the stars... they come out at night.
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife is so fat that the last time I saw something that big it was grazing.
Rodney Dangerfield
I'm not a sexy guy. I went to a hooker. I dropped my pants. She dropped her price.
Rodney Dangerfield
One night I came home. I figured, let my wife come on. I'll play it cool. Let her make the first move. She went to Florida.
Rodney Dangerfield
