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She was so fat that her bathtub has stretch marks.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Mark
Humor
Funny
Bathtub
Bathtubs
Marks
Stretch
Fats
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
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I was an ugly kid when I was born, after the doctor cut the cord, he hung himself.
Rodney Dangerfield
Life is full of temporary situations, ultimately ending in a permanent solution.
Rodney Dangerfield
My sex life is like shooting pool with a rope!
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And my girlfriend, she's FAT! How fat? She's so fat she wears two watches-one for each time zone!
Rodney Dangerfield
We were poor. we were so poor, in my neighborhood the rainbow was in black-and-white.
Rodney Dangerfield
If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong.
Rodney Dangerfield
I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.
Rodney Dangerfield
My old man never liked me. He gave me my allowance in traveler's checks.
Rodney Dangerfield
I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push.
Rodney Dangerfield
At Christmas time I sat on Santa's lap. His fly was open ! Boy what a present he gave me !
Rodney Dangerfield
I'm not a sexy guy. I went to a hooker. I dropped my pants. She dropped her price.
Rodney Dangerfield
It's great to have gray hair. Ask anyone who's bald.
Rodney Dangerfield
Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire.
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I know I'm not sexy. In high school I was voted Most Likely to Masturbate.
Rodney Dangerfield
She was so fat that her bikini is made out of two bed sheets (king-size).
Rodney Dangerfield
You don't know who to believe. Like Abraham Lincoln. He said all men were created equal. He never went to a nude beach.
Rodney Dangerfield
I tell ya, I know the best way to get girls. I hang out at women's prisons, and wait for parolees.
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife can't cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.
Rodney Dangerfield
Comedy is a camouflage for depression.
Rodney Dangerfield
