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My wife is so fat that when she lays on the beach the people feel sorry for her and try to roll her back into the water.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Feels
Lays
Trying
Sorry
People
Humor
Wife
Water
Funny
Fats
Back
Beach
Feel
Roll
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They say love thy neighbor as thy self , what am I supposed to do jerk him off too?
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With my wife I get no respect. I fell asleep with a cigarette in my hand. She lit it.
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Comedy is a camouflage for depression.
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I went to a freak show and they let me in for nothing.
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My wife has to be the worst cook. I don't believe meatloaf should glow in the dark
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One day as I came home early, I saw a man jogging naked. I said to the guy, 'Hey, buddy, why are you doing that?' He said, 'Because you came home early.'
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It's lonely on the top when there's no one on the bottom.
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My wife is so fat that the last time I saw something that big it was grazing.
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She was so ugly that her face could stop a sundial.
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At Christmas time we couldn't afford tinsel, so we'd wait till grandpa sneezed.
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