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I went to a gay bar, they wanted proof of sex so I showed them, they said it wasn't enough.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Funny
Showed
Wanted
Bars
Enough
Gay
Proof
Sex
Humor
Wasn
Went
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
My ex-wife is a water sign and I'm an earth sign. Together we made mud.
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I walked in on my wife and the milkman, the first thing she says is don't tell the butcher!
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I'll tell you one thing, I know how to satisfy my wife in bed, yeah, I leave.
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You wanna have laughs? Do what I do. When I go through a tollbooth, I keep going. I tell the guy, The car behind me is paying for two.
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Me and my dad used to play tag, he'd drive!
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When it comes to sex, at my age I like threesomes. In case one of us dies.
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I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.
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My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.
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During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me… Just the other night she called me from a hotel.
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My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
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I don't get no respect. I called Suicide Prevention. They tried to talk me into it.
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What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
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My wife has teeth like the stars... they come out at night.
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When I told my wife she was lousy in bed - she went out - she got a second opinion.
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One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!
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My son's an idiot. He sprained his ankle playing golf. He fell off the ballwasher.
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It's great to have gray hair. Ask anyone who's bald.
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When we got married, the first thing my wife did was put everything under both names - hers and her mother's.
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Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire.
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I asked my wife, 'On a scale of 1 to 10, how do you rate me as a lover?' She said, 'You know I'm no good at fractions.'
Rodney Dangerfield
