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I went to a gay bar, they wanted proof of sex so I showed them, they said it wasn't enough.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Wanted
Bars
Enough
Gay
Proof
Sex
Humor
Wasn
Went
Funny
Showed
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.
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My kid wants to be a prison warden when he grows up so he can put thumb tacks on the electric chairs.
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I once dated a girl that was wild. She was so wild that one night she gave her phone number to the mechanical bull.
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I don't get no respect
Rodney Dangerfield
I like to date schoolteachers. If you do something wrong, they make you do it over again.
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife she's fat. Why, if she lost a few pounds, she'd be perfectly round.
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I come from a stupid family. My father worked in a bank. They caught him stealing pens.
Rodney Dangerfield
Well with girls I don't get no respect. I had a blind date. I waited two hours on the corner. A girl walked by. I said Are you Louise? She said, Are you Rodney? I said, Yeah. She said, I'm not Louise.
Rodney Dangerfield
When I was born the doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, Look, twins!
Rodney Dangerfield
They say love thy neighbor as thy self , what am I supposed to do jerk him off too?
Rodney Dangerfield
I asked my old man if I could go ice-skating on the lake. He told me, Wait til it gets warmer.
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I say 'no' to drugs. Whenever someone asks me for some of my drugs I say, 'no.
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I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
Rodney Dangerfield
I asked my wife, 'Is there somebody else?' She said, 'There MUST be.'
Rodney Dangerfield
She was so ugly that her face could stop a sundial.
Rodney Dangerfield
The other night a mugger took off his mask and made me wear it.
Rodney Dangerfield
Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.
Rodney Dangerfield
To give you an idea how well I was doing at the time I quit, I was the only one who knew I quit.
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife has teeth like the stars... they come out at night.
Rodney Dangerfield
Hey, did somebody step on a duck?
Rodney Dangerfield
