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One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Went
Wife
Funny
Bags
Felt
Hotel
Time
Handle
Asked
Humor
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
I once met a beautiful, proper English girl. I bid her adieu.... she bid me a don't.
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I had a date with an inflatable girl. Now I got an inflatable guy looking for me.
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I asked my wife if she would put out the garbage. she said why should I you never put out for me.
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I tell ya, it's tough to save a buck. Right now I'm supporting two fighters. My wife and her mother.
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my wifes cooking is so bad the flys fix our screens
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My wife she's fat. Why, if she lost a few pounds, she'd be perfectly round.
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A man in the crowd asks: Hey Rodney, how'd you get started? Rodney: I was 12 years old, alone in my room, and I got started!
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I was making love to my wife the other night, I looked up. She was on the phone.
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I come from a stupid family. My uncle heard that most deaths occurs within ten miles of the house...so he moved.
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I tell ya, gambling never agreed with me. Last week I went to the track and they shot my horse with the opening gun.
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At Christmas time I sat on Santa's lap. His fly was open ! Boy what a present he gave me !
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I walked in on my wife and the milkman, the first thing she says is don't tell the butcher!
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I joined gamblers anon., they gave me 2 to 1 I wouldn't make it! I joined AA, there was a two drink minimum!
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When I was a kid, I never went to Disneyland. My ol' man told me Mickey Mouse died in a cancer experiment.
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My wife is so fat that when she lays on the beach the people feel sorry for her and try to roll her back into the water.
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She was so fat that her clothes are made by Omar the tent maker.
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We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
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Guy goes into a bar with a duck under his arm. Bartender says, Where'd you get the pig? Guy says, This is a duck. Bartender says, I was talking to the duck.
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What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
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I was an ugly kid when I was born, after the doctor cut the cord, he hung himself.
Rodney Dangerfield
