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One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Wife
Funny
Felt
Bags
Time
Hotel
Handle
Asked
Humor
Went
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Oh, I was an ugly kid. My old man took me to the zoo. They thanked him for returning me.
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It's great to have gray hair. Ask anyone who's bald.
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I told my wife a man is like wine, he gets better with age. She locked me in the cellar.
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I come from a stupid family. My uncle heard that most deaths occurs within ten miles of the house...so he moved.
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I once met a beautiful, proper English girl. I bid her adieu.... she bid me a don't.
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We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
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My car broke down just the other day, I called triple A, they came and towed me away!
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I don't get no respect
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With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
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My father gave me a bat for Christmas. The first time I tried to play with it, it flew away.
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It was the same thing in the army, no respect. They gave me a uniform that glowed in the dark.
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I knew a girl so ugly, I took her to the top of the Empire State building and planes started to attack her.
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