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My car broke down just the other day, I called triple A, they came and towed me away!
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Came
Funny
Away
Triple
Broke
Car
Humor
Called
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.
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I once dated a girl that was wild. She was so wild that one night she gave her phone number to the mechanical bull.
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My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
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Boy is my wife stupid. It takes her and hour and a half to watch 60 minutes. My daughters no bargain either. In public school she was voted most likely to conceive.
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One night she told me to put out the garbage. I told her you cooked it, you take it out.
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I have three kids, one of each.
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With my old man I got no respect. He told me never take candy from a stranger unless he offered me a ride.
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When I go to a nude beach, I always take a ruler, just in case I have to prove something.
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I was an ugly child. I got lost on the beach. I asked a cop if he could find my parents. He said, 'I don't know. There's lots of places for them to hide'.
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Group sex, are you kidding, I had group sex - my wife screwed in front of the jury.
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She failed her drivers test. She couldn't get used to the front seat. It took her four lessons to learn to sit up.
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I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
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She was so fat that her bathtub has stretch marks.
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I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push.
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She was so ugly that I took her to a dog show and she won first prize.
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Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
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I told my kids, Someday, you'll have kids of your own. One of them said, So will you.
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When I was born the doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, Look, twins!
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I knew a girl so ugly, I took her to the top of the Empire State building and planes started to attack her.
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At Christmas time we couldn't afford tinsel, so we'd wait till grandpa sneezed.
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