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My car broke down just the other day, I called triple A, they came and towed me away!
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Car
Humor
Called
Came
Funny
Away
Triple
Broke
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.
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Man, who don't like spaghetti?
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My kid wants to be a prison warden when he grows up so he can put thumb tacks on the electric chairs.
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He found a new way to cover up his bad breath. He holds up his arms.
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A homeless guy came up to me on the street, said he hadn't eaten in four days. I told him, Man, I wish I had your willpower.
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You live with life's disappointments and learn from them. At seventy-eight, I know it all.
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I don't get no respect
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Guy goes into a bar with a duck under his arm. Bartender says, Where'd you get the pig? Guy says, This is a duck. Bartender says, I was talking to the duck.
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My father gave me a bat for Christmas. The first time I tried to play with it, it flew away.
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Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'
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My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
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My wife made me join a bridge club... I jump off next Tuesday.
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I was making love to my wife the other night, I looked up. She was on the phone.
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I once had a problem ... so I tried group sex. Now I have a new problem - who to thank.
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With my dog I don't get no respect. He keeps barking at the front door. He don't want to go out. He wants me to leave.
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I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
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I bought a perfect second car... a tow truck.
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I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice. I don't know if I'm coming or going.
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I've never been lucky. The day my ship came in, I was at the airport.
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I am the world's oldest teenager. I've never lost my youthful attitude.
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