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With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, How can I get my kite in the air? He told me to run off a cliff.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Air
Asked
Respect
Told
Family
Kite
Running
Kites
Men
Cliff
Cliffs
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
My father gave me a bat for Christmas. The first time I tried to play with it, it flew away.
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I said to a girl I'd been seeing, come home with me, honey, and I'll show you where it's at. She said, You'd better, because the last time I could'nt find it.
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I come from a stupid family. My uncle heard that most deaths occurs within ten miles of the house...so he moved.
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He who laughs last didn't get it in the first place.
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My car broke down just the other day, I called triple A, they came and towed me away!
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I'm sitting on top of the world, and I've got hemorrhoids.
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I'm a downer. I've been depressed my whole life. Figure it out.
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Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire.
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Boy is my wife stupid. It takes her and hour and a half to watch 60 minutes. My daughters no bargain either. In public school she was voted most likely to conceive.
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I bought a perfect second car... a tow truck.
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Last week I told my psychiatrist, 'I keep thinking about suicide', and he told me from now I have to pay in advance.
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Dad told me to stop running in circles, I couldn't, so he nailed down my other foot!
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I am the world's oldest teenager. I've never lost my youthful attitude.
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I say 'no' to drugs. Whenever someone asks me for some of my drugs I say, 'no.
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My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.
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His breath is so bad why every time he smokes he blows onion rings.
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She was so fat that her belly button makes an echo.
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I once dated a girl that was wild. She was so wild that one night she gave her phone number to the mechanical bull.
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At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he know he can't.
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My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.
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