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My sex life is terrible my wife put a mirror over the dog's bed. Actually she did put a mirror over our bed. She says she likes to watch herself laugh.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Life
Sex
Watches
Watch
Mirror
Laughing
Mirrors
Terrible
Likes
Says
Bed
Wife
Dog
Actually
Laugh
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I told my doctor I think my wife has VD. He gave himself a shot of penicillin.
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My old man never liked me. He gave me my allowance in traveler's checks.
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I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice. I don't know if I'm coming or going.
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Don't talk about yourself so much...we'll do that when you leave.
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When we got married my wife told me I was one in a million. I found out she was right.
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Last time I tried to make love to my wife nothing happened, so I said to her, 'What's the matter, you can't think of anybody either?'
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My only thrill is self inflicted hickies.
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It's great to have gray hair. Ask anyone who's bald.
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I tell ya, gambling never agreed with me. Last week I went to the track and they shot my horse with the opening gun.
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It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.
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On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
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