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I'll tell you one thing, I know how to satisfy my wife in bed, yeah, I leave.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Tell
Thing
Satisfy
Bed
Yeah
Leave
Wife
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness.
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Group sex, are you kidding, I had group sex - my wife screwed in front of the jury.
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A homeless guy came up to me on the street, said he hadn't eaten in four days. I told him, Man, I wish I had your willpower.
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Hey, did somebody step on a duck?
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I went to a freak show and they let me in for nothing.
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My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
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I come from a stupid family. My father worked in a bank. They caught him stealing pens.
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With my old man I got no respect. He told me never take candy from a stranger unless he offered me a ride.
Rodney Dangerfield
My ex-wife is a water sign and I'm an earth sign. Together we made mud.
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My wife was afraid of the dark. Then she saw me naked, and now she's afraid of the light.
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Cars and women are a lot alike. They lie about the milage.
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My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.
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Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'
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During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me… Just the other night she called me from a hotel.
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I'm a downer. I've been depressed my whole life. Figure it out.
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Better to keep quiet and let people think you're an idiot than speak up and confirm it.
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Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
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You wanna have laughs? Do what I do. When I go through a tollbooth, I keep going. I tell the guy, The car behind me is paying for two.
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You know you're old when your family talk about you in front of you. What are we going to do with Pop? We have company tonight.
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My wife is so fat that the last time I saw something that big it was grazing.
Rodney Dangerfield
