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I live in a bad neighborhood. Why, I saw two complete strangers share a taxi - yeah, one guy took the radio and the other guy took the tires.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
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Strangers
Guy
Neighborhood
Two
Stranger
Live
Complete
Radio
Yeah
Tires
Saws
Taxi
Took
Tire
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My wife was afraid of the dark. Then she saw me naked, and now she's afraid of the light.
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My father gave me a bat for Christmas. The first time I tried to play with it, it flew away.
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I figured out I'm bisexual. I have sex twice a year.
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One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!
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You take care and I hope I'll run into you - when I'm driving.
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My sex life is terrible my wife put a mirror over the dog's bed. Actually she did put a mirror over our bed. She says she likes to watch herself laugh.
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I told my dentist I want a tooth to match the others. He gave my one with four cavities.
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What a childhood I had. Once on my birthday my ol' man gave me a bat. The first day I played with it, it flew away.
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I tell ya, I knew my morning wasn't going right. When I put on my shirt the button fell off, when I picked up my briefcase, the handle fell off, I tell ya, I was afraid to go to the bathroom.
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A man in the crowd asks: Hey Rodney, how'd you get started? Rodney: I was 12 years old, alone in my room, and I got started!
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My wife is so fat that when she lays on the beach the people feel sorry for her and try to roll her back into the water.
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I'd like to get some new clothes, but I can't find a Big and Short store.
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I tell ya, it's tough to save a buck. Right now I'm supporting two fighters. My wife and her mother.
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