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I live in a bad neighborhood. Why, I saw two complete strangers share a taxi - yeah, one guy took the radio and the other guy took the tires.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
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Strangers
Guy
Neighborhood
Two
Stranger
Live
Complete
Radio
Yeah
Tires
Saws
Taxi
Took
Tire
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
I tell ya, it's tough to save a buck. Right now I'm supporting two fighters. My wife and her mother.
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I walked in on my wife and the milkman, the first thing she says is don't tell the butcher!
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One night she told me to put out the garbage. I told her you cooked it, you take it out.
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What a childhood I had. Once on my birthday my ol' man gave me a bat. The first day I played with it, it flew away.
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I tell ya when I fly, I don't get no respect. I took one of those cheap flights, no frills. I finished eatin' and had to do the dishes.
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My wife has teeth like the stars... they come out at night.
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I come from a stupid family. My uncle heard that most deaths occurs within ten miles of the house...so he moved.
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Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire.
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I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push.
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People ask if I can get it up in the morning. I tell them are you kidding I'm envious of a stiff wind.
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Guy goes into a bar with a duck under his arm. Bartender says, Where'd you get the pig? Guy says, This is a duck. Bartender says, I was talking to the duck.
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She was so ugly that I took her to a dog show and she won first prize.
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When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
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Man, who don't like spaghetti?
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This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.
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I get no respect... I tell you, when I was born, the doctor smacked my mother
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I can't get no respect.
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One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!
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I bought a perfect second car... a tow truck.
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I shouldn't tell jokes about my wife. she's attached to a machine that keeps her alive... The refrigerator.
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