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I live in a bad neighborhood. Why, I saw two complete strangers share a taxi - yeah, one guy took the radio and the other guy took the tires.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
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Strangers
Guy
Neighborhood
Two
Stranger
Live
Complete
Radio
Yeah
Tires
Saws
Taxi
Took
Tire
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The other night a mugger took off his mask and made me wear it.
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Dad told me to stop running in circles, I couldn't, so he nailed down my other foot!
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She was old too, when she went to school they didn't have history.
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What a childhood I had. My parents sent me to a child psychiatrist. The kid didn't help me at all.
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My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
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I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, Are you going to hate yourself in the morning? She said, No, I hate myself now.
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The shape I'm in, I could donate my body to science fiction.
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My wife has cut our lovemaking down to once a month, but I know two guys she's cut out entirely.
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I tell ya, my wife's a lousy cook. After dinner, I don't brush my teeth. I count them.
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Group sex, are you kidding, I had group sex - my wife screwed in front of the jury.
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My car broke down just the other day, I called triple A, they came and towed me away!
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I was making love to my wife the other night, I looked up. She was on the phone.
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I said to a girl I'd been seeing, come home with me, honey, and I'll show you where it's at. She said, You'd better, because the last time I could'nt find it.
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My problem is that I appeal to everyone that can do me absolutely no good.
Rodney Dangerfield
