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I live in a bad neighborhood. Why, I saw two complete strangers share a taxi - yeah, one guy took the radio and the other guy took the tires.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Took
Tire
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Strangers
Neighborhood
Guy
Stranger
Two
Complete
Live
Radio
Yeah
Tires
Saws
Taxi
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When I was a kid I got no respect. When I went on the roller coaster, my old man told me to stand up straight.
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I say 'no' to drugs. Whenever someone asks me for some of my drugs I say, 'no.
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My son's an idiot. He sprained his ankle playing golf. He fell off the ballwasher.
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I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
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When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
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I tell ya, it's tough to save a buck. Right now I'm supporting two fighters. My wife and her mother.
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What a childhood I had. My parents sent me to a child psychiatrist. The kid didn't help me at all.
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It's lonely on the top when there's no one on the bottom.
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I asked my wife, 'On a scale of 1 to 10, how do you rate me as a lover?' She said, 'You know I'm no good at fractions.'
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My wife was afraid of the dark. Then she saw me naked, and now she's afraid of the light.
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She failed her drivers test. She couldn't get used to the front seat. It took her four lessons to learn to sit up.
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I asked my old man if I could go ice-skating on the lake. He told me, Wait til it gets warmer.
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She was so ugly that I took her to a dog show and she won first prize.
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One night she told me to put out the garbage. I told her you cooked it, you take it out.
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