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I tell ya, I know the best way to get girls. I hang out at women's prisons, and wait for parolees.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Wait
Girls
Waiting
Girl
Tell
Women
Prisons
Best
Hang
Way
Prison
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
When I was a kid I got no respect. I told my mother, I'm gonna run away from home. She said, On your mark.
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I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
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I like to date schoolteachers. If you do something wrong, they make you do it over again.
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My wife has to be the worst cook. I don't believe meatloaf should glow in the dark
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I once dated a girl that was wild. She was so wild that one night she gave her phone number to the mechanical bull.
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It's lonely on the top when there's no one on the bottom.
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They took a survey: Why do men get up in the middle of the night? Ten percent get up to go to the bathroom and 90 percent get up to go home.
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Life is just a bowl of pits.
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I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
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My father gave me a bat for Christmas. The first time I tried to play with it, it flew away.
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I told my wife 'hey honey come on, let's make love like the old days.' She asked me for 50 bucks.
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Man, who don't like spaghetti?
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I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
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My problem is that I appeal to everyone that can do me absolutely no good.
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My son's an idiot. He sprained his ankle playing golf. He fell off the ballwasher.
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I come from a stupid family. My uncle heard that most deaths occurs within ten miles of the house...so he moved.
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Life is full of temporary situations, ultimately ending in a permanent solution.
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You don't know who to believe. Like Abraham Lincoln. He said all men were created equal. He never went to a nude beach.
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I don't get no respect
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I was an ugly child. I got lost on the beach. I asked a cop if he could find my parents. He said, 'I don't know. There's lots of places for them to hide'.
Rodney Dangerfield
