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School is a place were you go to eat your lunch
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Lunch
Funny
Place
School
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
When I was a kid I got no respect. I told my mother, I'm gonna run away from home. She said, On your mark.
Rodney Dangerfield
One day as I came home early, I saw a man jogging naked. I said to the guy, 'Hey, buddy, why are you doing that?' He said, 'Because you came home early.'
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.
Rodney Dangerfield
Last week my tie caught on fire, some guy tried to put it out with an axe.
Rodney Dangerfield
Cars and women are a lot alike. They lie about the milage.
Rodney Dangerfield
You know you're old when your family talk about you in front of you. What are we going to do with Pop? We have company tonight.
Rodney Dangerfield
Group sex, are you kidding, I had group sex - my wife screwed in front of the jury.
Rodney Dangerfield
I've been writing jokes since I'm fifteen. Not out of happiness, but to go to a different place, because reality wasn't good to me.
Rodney Dangerfield
What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
Rodney Dangerfield
I tell ya, I knew my morning wasn't going right. When I put on my shirt the button fell off, when I picked up my briefcase, the handle fell off, I tell ya, I was afraid to go to the bathroom.
Rodney Dangerfield
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.
Rodney Dangerfield
If it wasn't for pick-pockets I'd have no sex life at all.
Rodney Dangerfield
I bought a new book, '100 new ways to make love'. I ended up in traction - it was a misprint.
Rodney Dangerfield
I got myself good this morning too. I did my pushups in the nude, I didn't see the mouse trap.
Rodney Dangerfield
Me and my dad used to play tag, he'd drive!
Rodney Dangerfield
My only thrill is self inflicted hickies.
Rodney Dangerfield
They took a survey: Why do men get up in the middle of the night? Ten percent get up to go to the bathroom and 90 percent get up to go home.
Rodney Dangerfield
I asked my wife, 'On a scale of 1 to 10, how do you rate me as a lover?' She said, 'You know I'm no good at fractions.'
Rodney Dangerfield
I don't get no respect
Rodney Dangerfield
Guy goes into a bar with a duck under his arm. Bartender says, Where'd you get the pig? Guy says, This is a duck. Bartender says, I was talking to the duck.
Rodney Dangerfield
