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School is a place were you go to eat your lunch
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Lunch
Funny
Place
School
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
My old man never liked me. He gave me my allowance in traveler's checks.
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On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
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I get no respect... I tell you, when I was born, the doctor smacked my mother
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She was old too, when she went to school they didn't have history.
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This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.
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One day as I came home early, I saw a man jogging naked. I said to the guy, 'Hey, buddy, why are you doing that?' He said, 'Because you came home early.'
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Life is just a bowl of pits.
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Guy goes into a bar with a duck under his arm. Bartender says, Where'd you get the pig? Guy says, This is a duck. Bartender says, I was talking to the duck.
Rodney Dangerfield
You know you're old when your family talk about you in front of you. What are we going to do with Pop? We have company tonight.
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You don't know who to believe. Like Abraham Lincoln. He said all men were created equal. He never went to a nude beach.
Rodney Dangerfield
I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
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My kids scotch tape worms to the sidewalk and watch the birds get hernias.
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My father gave me a bat for Christmas. The first time I tried to play with it, it flew away.
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I come from a stupid family. My father worked in a bank. They caught him stealing pens.
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Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.
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My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
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She was so fat that her bikini is made out of two bed sheets (king-size).
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife made me join a bridge club... I jump off next Tuesday.
Rodney Dangerfield
I say 'no' to drugs. Whenever someone asks me for some of my drugs I say, 'no.
Rodney Dangerfield
They took a survey: Why do men get up in the middle of the night? Ten percent get up to go to the bathroom and 90 percent get up to go home.
Rodney Dangerfield
