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School is a place were you go to eat your lunch
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Funny
Place
School
Lunch
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
It's lonely on the top when there's no one on the bottom.
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I'm a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping tom booing me.
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My father gave me a bat for Christmas. The first time I tried to play with it, it flew away.
Rodney Dangerfield
Last week my tie caught on fire, some guy tried to put it out with an axe.
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If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong.
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They took a survey: Why do men get up in the middle of the night? Ten percent get up to go to the bathroom and 90 percent get up to go home.
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I don't get no respect. I called Suicide Prevention. They tried to talk me into it.
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Boy is my wife stupid. It takes her and hour and a half to watch 60 minutes. My daughters no bargain either. In public school she was voted most likely to conceive.
Rodney Dangerfield
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
Rodney Dangerfield
I asked my wife if she would put out the garbage. she said why should I you never put out for me.
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I come from a stupid family. My father worked in a bank. They caught him stealing pens.
Rodney Dangerfield
I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
Rodney Dangerfield
I can't get no respect.
Rodney Dangerfield
I'm getting so old my insurance company sends me 1/2 a calendar!
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I'm sitting on top of the world, and I've got hemorrhoids.
Rodney Dangerfield
When I was born the doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, Look, twins!
Rodney Dangerfield
When I was a kid I got no respect. The time I was kidnapped, and the kidnappers sent my parents a note they said, We want five thousand dollars or you'll see your kid again.
Rodney Dangerfield
My kid wants to be a prison warden when he grows up so he can put thumb tacks on the electric chairs.
Rodney Dangerfield
They say love thy neighbor as thy self , what am I supposed to do jerk him off too?
Rodney Dangerfield
I was making love to my wife the other night, I looked up. She was on the phone.
Rodney Dangerfield
