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Life is full of temporary situations, ultimately ending in a permanent solution.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Ultimately
Solutions
Full
Situation
Ending
Funny
Temporary
Life
Situations
Solution
Permanent
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
His breath is so bad why every time he smokes he blows onion rings.
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Cars and women are a lot alike. They lie about the milage.
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Comedy is a camouflage for depression.
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I said to a girl I'd been seeing, come home with me, honey, and I'll show you where it's at. She said, You'd better, because the last time I could'nt find it.
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At Christmas time I sat on Santa's lap. His fly was open ! Boy what a present he gave me !
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If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong.
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I don't get no respect. I called Suicide Prevention. They tried to talk me into it.
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I asked my wife if she would put out the garbage. she said why should I you never put out for me.
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife has teeth like the stars... they come out at night.
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If it wasn't for pick-pockets I'd have no sex life at all.
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Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
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At my age I'm envious of a stiff wind.
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I know I'm not sexy. In high school I was voted Most Likely to Masturbate.
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She was so ugly that I took her to a dog show and she won first prize.
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When I was a kid, I never went to Disneyland. My ol' man told me Mickey Mouse died in a cancer experiment.
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I tell ya, I knew my morning wasn't going right. When I put on my shirt the button fell off, when I picked up my briefcase, the handle fell off, I tell ya, I was afraid to go to the bathroom.
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With my wife I get no respect. I fell asleep with a cigarette in my hand. She lit it.
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A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.
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My cousin is gay, I always tell him that in our family tree, he's in the fruit section.
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Last week I told my psychiatrist, 'I keep thinking about suicide', and he told me from now I have to pay in advance.
Rodney Dangerfield
