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Life is full of temporary situations, ultimately ending in a permanent solution.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Situation
Ending
Funny
Temporary
Life
Situations
Solution
Permanent
Ultimately
Solutions
Full
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
My son's an idiot. He sprained his ankle playing golf. He fell off the ballwasher.
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I bought a perfect second car... a tow truck.
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My only thrill is self inflicted hickies.
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Boy is my wife stupid. It takes her and hour and a half to watch 60 minutes. My daughters no bargain either. In public school she was voted most likely to conceive.
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I tell ya, my wife was never nice. On our first date, I asked her if I could give her a goodnight kiss on the cheek - she bent over!
Rodney Dangerfield
I went to a gay bar, they wanted proof of sex so I showed them, they said it wasn't enough.
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I was making love to my wife the other night, I looked up. She was on the phone.
Rodney Dangerfield
I tell ya, I knew my morning wasn't going right. When I put on my shirt the button fell off, when I picked up my briefcase, the handle fell off, I tell ya, I was afraid to go to the bathroom.
Rodney Dangerfield
She was so ugly that her face could stop a sundial.
Rodney Dangerfield
I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
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I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice. I don't know if I'm coming or going.
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I told my doctor I think my wife has VD. He gave himself a shot of penicillin.
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She was so fat that her belly button makes an echo.
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The other night a mugger took off his mask and made me wear it.
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My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.
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What a childhood I had, why, when I took my first step, my old man tripped me!
Rodney Dangerfield
My cousin is gay, in school while other kids were dissecting frog, he was opening flies.
Rodney Dangerfield
I'm getting so old my insurance company sends me 1/2 a calendar!
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People ask if I can get it up in the morning. I tell them are you kidding I'm envious of a stiff wind.
Rodney Dangerfield
I was an ugly kid when I was born, after the doctor cut the cord, he hung himself.
Rodney Dangerfield
