Quote

I tell ya, my wife's a lousy cook. After dinner, I don't brush my teeth. I count them.

Rodney Dangerfield

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Brushes
Cook
Cooks
Count
Teeth
Dinner
Wife
Lousy
Tell
Brush

More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

Image
My cousins gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
I walked in on my wife and the milkman, the first thing she says is don't tell the butcher!
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
When I told my wife she was lousy in bed - she went out - she got a second opinion.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
My wife is so fat that the last time I saw something that big it was grazing.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
She was so fat that her bikini is made out of two bed sheets (king-size).
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
I asked him Who said you could fool around with my wife he said everybody.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
I'm sitting on top of the world, and I've got hemorrhoids.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
I can't get no respect.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
My cousin is gay, I always tell him that in our family tree, he's in the fruit section.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
Time and tide and hookers wait for no man.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
My car broke down just the other day, I called triple A, they came and towed me away!
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
I have tried a little kinky stuff. A woman called me and said, 'I have mirrors all over my bedroom. Bring a bottle.' I brought Windex.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
Cars and women are a lot alike. They lie about the milage.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
You know you're old when your family talk about you in front of you. What are we going to do with Pop? We have company tonight.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
Don't talk about yourself so much...we'll do that when you leave.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
I tell ya when I fly, I don't get no respect. I took one of those cheap flights, no frills. I finished eatin' and had to do the dishes.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield