Quote

I tell ya, my wife's a lousy cook. After dinner, I don't brush my teeth. I count them.

Rodney Dangerfield

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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Cooks
Count
Teeth
Dinner
Wife
Lousy
Tell
Brush
Brushes
Cook

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At Christmas time we couldn't afford tinsel, so we'd wait till grandpa sneezed.
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I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
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I say 'no' to drugs. Whenever someone asks me for some of my drugs I say, 'no.
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I get no respect... I tell you, when I was born, the doctor smacked my mother
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I have three kids, one of each.
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If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong.
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I asked my wife, 'Is there somebody else?' She said, 'There MUST be.'
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I don't get no respect. I called Suicide Prevention. They tried to talk me into it.
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I told my wife a man is like wine, he gets better with age. She locked me in the cellar.
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I've been writing jokes since I'm fifteen. Not out of happiness, but to go to a different place, because reality wasn't good to me.
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