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I like to date schoolteachers. If you do something wrong, they make you do it over again.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
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Schoolteachers
Date
Wrong
Something
Make
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My wife is so fat that when she lays on the beach the people feel sorry for her and try to roll her back into the water.
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She was so fat that her clothes are made by Omar the tent maker.
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My sex life is like shooting pool with a rope!
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I have tried a little kinky stuff. A woman called me and said, 'I have mirrors all over my bedroom. Bring a bottle.' I brought Windex.
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My ex-wife is a water sign and I'm an earth sign. Together we made mud.
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Man, who don't like spaghetti?
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A hooker once told me she had a headache.
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On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
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I bought a perfect second car... a tow truck.
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I went to a gay bar, they wanted proof of sex so I showed them, they said it wasn't enough.
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my wifes cooking is so bad the flys fix our screens
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A sense of humor is rare. It isn't telling a joke about how there are three ways to get to heaven. It's being in a restaurant and hearing someone say, Everyone's got their tale of woe, and then turning around and saying, Unfortunately, in life, there's more woe than tail.
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My wife made me join a bridge club... I jump off next Tuesday.
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When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
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She was old too, when she went to school they didn't have history.
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She was so fat that her bathtub has stretch marks.
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What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
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When I go to a nude beach, I always take a ruler, just in case I have to prove something.
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