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When I was a kid, I never went to Disneyland. My ol' man told me Mickey Mouse died in a cancer experiment.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Experiments
Cancer
Died
Told
Mickey
Went
Disneyland
Kids
Mouse
Never
Mice
Men
Experiment
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
It was the same thing in the army, no respect. They gave me a uniform that glowed in the dark.
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At Christmas time I sat on Santa's lap. His fly was open ! Boy what a present he gave me !
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When we got married my wife told me I was one in a million. I found out she was right.
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I tell ya, I knew my morning wasn't going right. When I put on my shirt the button fell off, when I picked up my briefcase, the handle fell off, I tell ya, I was afraid to go to the bathroom.
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I said to a girl I'd been seeing, come home with me, honey, and I'll show you where it's at. She said, You'd better, because the last time I could'nt find it.
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I'm getting so old my insurance company sends me 1/2 a calendar!
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A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.
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My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
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My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
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Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
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I got myself good this morning too. I did my pushups in the nude, I didn't see the mouse trap.
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It's lonely on the top when there's no one on the bottom.
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Hey, did somebody step on a duck?
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my wifes cooking is so bad the flys fix our screens
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With girls I get no respect. A belly dancer told me I turned her stomach.
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When I was a kid I got no respect. When I went on the roller coaster, my old man told me to stand up straight.
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I'm a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping tom booing me.
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If it wasn't for pick-pockets I'd have no sex life at all.
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I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
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