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What a childhood I had. Once on my birthday my ol' man gave me a bat. The first day I played with it, it flew away.

Rodney Dangerfield

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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Firsts
First
Bats
Men
Flew
Birthday
Played
Childhood
Gave
Away

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I'm getting so old my insurance company sends me 1/2 a calendar!
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If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong.
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My son's an idiot. He sprained his ankle playing golf. He fell off the ballwasher.
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One time my whole family played hide and seek. They found my mother in Pittsburgh!
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I asked my wife, 'Is there somebody else?' She said, 'There MUST be.'
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I am the world's oldest teenager. I've never lost my youthful attitude.
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She was so ugly that I took her to a dog show and she won first prize.
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One day as I came home early, I saw a man jogging naked. I said to the guy, 'Hey, buddy, why are you doing that?' He said, 'Because you came home early.'
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