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I have tried a little kinky stuff. A woman called me and said, 'I have mirrors all over my bedroom. Bring a bottle.' I brought Windex.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Sex
Bring
Kinky
Called
Bottle
Woman
Bedroom
Stuff
Bottles
Littles
Mirrors
Little
Brought
Tried
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
I once met a beautiful, proper English girl. I bid her adieu.... she bid me a don't.
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My wife has to be the worst cook. I don't believe meatloaf should glow in the dark
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One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!
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My cousin is gay, in school while other kids were dissecting frog, he was opening flies.
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What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
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A man in the crowd asks: Hey Rodney, how'd you get started? Rodney: I was 12 years old, alone in my room, and I got started!
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I shouldn't tell jokes about my wife. she's attached to a machine that keeps her alive... The refrigerator.
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What a childhood I had. Once on my birthday my ol' man gave me a bat. The first day I played with it, it flew away.
Rodney Dangerfield
My mother used to rock me - and she used big rocks.
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My father gave me a bat for Christmas. The first time I tried to play with it, it flew away.
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When I was a kid I got no respect. I had no friends. I remember the see-saw. I had to keep runnin' from one end to the other.
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I knew a girl so ugly, I took her to the top of the Empire State building and planes started to attack her.
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Better to keep quiet and let people think you're an idiot than speak up and confirm it.
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What a dog I got. Last night he went on the paper four times - three while I was reading it.
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One night I came home. I figured, let my wife come on. I'll play it cool. Let her make the first move. She went to Florida.
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People ask if I can get it up in the morning. I tell them are you kidding I'm envious of a stiff wind.
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I bought a new book, '100 new ways to make love'. I ended up in traction - it was a misprint.
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Hey, did somebody step on a duck?
Rodney Dangerfield
When I was a kid I got no respect. The time I was kidnapped, and the kidnappers sent my parents a note they said, We want five thousand dollars or you'll see your kid again.
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife says 90% of sex occurs between the ears. But I need a girl who can blow more just my mind.
Rodney Dangerfield
