Quote

I have tried a little kinky stuff. A woman called me and said, 'I have mirrors all over my bedroom. Bring a bottle.' I brought Windex.

Rodney Dangerfield

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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Stuff
Bottles
Littles
Mirrors
Little
Brought
Tried
Sex
Bring
Kinky
Called
Bottle
Woman
Bedroom

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Cars and women are a lot alike. They lie about the milage.
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She was so fat that her bathtub has stretch marks.
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You don't know who to believe. Like Abraham Lincoln. He said all men were created equal. He never went to a nude beach.
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With my dog I don't get no respect. He keeps barking at the front door. He don't want to go out. He wants me to leave.
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When we got married, the first thing my wife did was put everything under both names - hers and her mother's.
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[on 8/24/04, before entering a Los Angeles hospital for heart valve replacement surgery] If things go right, I'll be there about a week, and if things don't go right, I'll be there about an hour and a half.
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She was so ugly that I took her to a dog show and she won first prize.
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I'll tell you one thing, I know how to satisfy my wife in bed, yeah, I leave.
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At Christmas time we couldn't afford tinsel, so we'd wait till grandpa sneezed.
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I got myself good this morning too. I did my pushups in the nude, I didn't see the mouse trap.
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