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I don't get no respect

Rodney Dangerfield

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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Tombstone
Respect

More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

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I recently had double-bypass surgery. As they wheel you in, the doctor always gives you a last look. You know that look. That look of confidence to make you feel good. I always say to every doctor, If I don't make it, I'll never know it.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I told my kids, Someday, you'll have kids of your own. One of them said, So will you.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Last week my tie caught on fire, some guy tried to put it out with an axe.
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She was so fat that her bikini is made out of two bed sheets (king-size).
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I know I'm not sexy. In high school I was voted Most Likely to Masturbate.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I was an ugly child. I got lost on the beach. I asked a cop if he could find my parents. He said, 'I don't know. There's lots of places for them to hide'.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I have three kids, one of each.
Rodney Dangerfield
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He who laughs last didn't get it in the first place.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.
Rodney Dangerfield
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My wife she's fat. Why, if she lost a few pounds, she'd be perfectly round.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I went to a gay bar, they wanted proof of sex so I showed them, they said it wasn't enough.
Rodney Dangerfield
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If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness.
Rodney Dangerfield
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My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
Rodney Dangerfield
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She was so fat that her belly button makes an echo.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I told my doctor I think my wife has VD. He gave himself a shot of penicillin.
Rodney Dangerfield
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My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
Rodney Dangerfield
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A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I don't get no respect. I called Suicide Prevention. They tried to talk me into it.
Rodney Dangerfield
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What a childhood I had. Once on my birthday my ol' man gave me a bat. The first day I played with it, it flew away.
Rodney Dangerfield