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During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me… Just the other night she called me from a hotel.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Wants
Called
Talk
Funny
Night
Hotel
Always
Girlfriend
Sex
Humor
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
I'm not a sexy guy. I went to a hooker. I dropped my pants. She dropped her price.
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I tell ya, I know the best way to get girls. I hang out at women's prisons, and wait for parolees.
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His breath is so bad why every time he smokes he blows onion rings.
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My only thrill is self inflicted hickies.
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I live in a bad neighborhood. Why, I saw two complete strangers share a taxi - yeah, one guy took the radio and the other guy took the tires.
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My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night it was to time an egg.
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Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
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On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
Rodney Dangerfield
Hey, did somebody step on a duck?
Rodney Dangerfield
My sex life is terrible my wife put a mirror over the dog's bed. Actually she did put a mirror over our bed. She says she likes to watch herself laugh.
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My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.
Rodney Dangerfield
Life is just a bowl of pits.
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I asked my wife if she would put out the garbage. she said why should I you never put out for me.
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Boy is my wife stupid. It takes her and hour and a half to watch 60 minutes. My daughters no bargain either. In public school she was voted most likely to conceive.
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When I go to a nude beach, I always take a ruler, just in case I have to prove something.
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I told my wife 'hey honey come on, let's make love like the old days.' She asked me for 50 bucks.
Rodney Dangerfield
What a dog I got, he found out we look alike, so he killed himself.
Rodney Dangerfield
What a childhood I had. My parents sent me to a child psychiatrist. The kid didn't help me at all.
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My cousins gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.
Rodney Dangerfield
We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
Rodney Dangerfield
