Quote

One day as I came home early, I saw a man jogging naked. I said to the guy, 'Hey, buddy, why are you doing that?' He said, 'Because you came home early.'

Rodney Dangerfield

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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Naked
Saws
Early
Came
Guy
Funny
Jogging
Home
Buddy
Men
Hey

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Me and my dad used to play tag, he'd drive!
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The other night a mugger took off his mask and made me wear it.
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I asked my wife, 'Is there somebody else?' She said, 'There MUST be.'
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Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
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I'm not a sexy guy. I went to a hooker. I dropped my pants. She dropped her price.
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When I was a kid, I never went to Disneyland. My ol' man told me Mickey Mouse died in a cancer experiment.
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She was so ugly that I took her to a dog show and she won first prize.
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What a dog I got, he found out we look alike, so he killed himself.
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I like to date schoolteachers. If you do something wrong, they make you do it over again.
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It's great to have gray hair. Ask anyone who's bald.
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I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
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We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
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Last week I told my psychiatrist, 'I keep thinking about suicide', and he told me from now I have to pay in advance.
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I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push.
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My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
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I once met a beautiful, proper English girl. I bid her adieu.... she bid me a don't.
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She was so fat that her belly button makes an echo.
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Group sex, are you kidding, I had group sex - my wife screwed in front of the jury.
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When I was a kid I got no respect. The time I was kidnapped, and the kidnappers sent my parents a note they said, We want five thousand dollars or you'll see your kid again.
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