Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
Me and my dad used to play tag, he'd drive!
Rodney Dangerfield
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Tag
Drive
Dad
Humor
Comedy
Funny
Used
Play
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
Well with girls I don't get no respect. I had a blind date. I waited two hours on the corner. A girl walked by. I said Are you Louise? She said, Are you Rodney? I said, Yeah. She said, I'm not Louise.
Rodney Dangerfield
At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he know he can't.
Rodney Dangerfield
What a childhood I had, why, when I took my first step, my old man tripped me!
Rodney Dangerfield
It was the same thing in the army, no respect. They gave me a uniform that glowed in the dark.
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.
Rodney Dangerfield
I tell ya, my wife's a lousy cook. After dinner, I don't brush my teeth. I count them.
Rodney Dangerfield
Hey, did somebody step on a duck?
Rodney Dangerfield
I was making love to my wife the other night, I looked up. She was on the phone.
Rodney Dangerfield
One year they asked me to be poster boy - for birth control.
Rodney Dangerfield
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.
Rodney Dangerfield
I've been writing jokes since I'm fifteen. Not out of happiness, but to go to a different place, because reality wasn't good to me.
Rodney Dangerfield
I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife has teeth like the stars... they come out at night.
Rodney Dangerfield
I asked my wife if she would put out the garbage. she said why should I you never put out for me.
Rodney Dangerfield
If it wasn't for pick-pockets I'd have no sex life at all.
Rodney Dangerfield
My car broke down just the other day, I called triple A, they came and towed me away!
Rodney Dangerfield
A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.
Rodney Dangerfield
I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.
Rodney Dangerfield
My kid wants to be a prison warden when he grows up so he can put thumb tacks on the electric chairs.
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife she's fat. Why, if she lost a few pounds, she'd be perfectly round.
Rodney Dangerfield
