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Me and my dad used to play tag, he'd drive!
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Comedy
Funny
Used
Play
Tag
Drive
Dad
Humor
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
They say love thy neighbor as thy self , what am I supposed to do jerk him off too?
Rodney Dangerfield
I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
Rodney Dangerfield
When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.
Rodney Dangerfield
I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor they sent a priest up to talk to me and he said, ' On your mark...'
Rodney Dangerfield
I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.
Rodney Dangerfield
Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
Rodney Dangerfield
I've never been lucky. The day my ship came in, I was at the airport.
Rodney Dangerfield
The other night a mugger took off his mask and made me wear it.
Rodney Dangerfield
When I told my wife she was lousy in bed - she went out - she got a second opinion.
Rodney Dangerfield
If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong.
Rodney Dangerfield
I come from a stupid family. My uncle heard that most deaths occurs within ten miles of the house...so he moved.
Rodney Dangerfield
My mother used to rock me - and she used big rocks.
Rodney Dangerfield
And my girlfriend, she's FAT! How fat? She's so fat she wears two watches-one for each time zone!
Rodney Dangerfield
Comedy is a camouflage for depression.
Rodney Dangerfield
What a dog I got. Last night he went on the paper four times - three while I was reading it.
Rodney Dangerfield
She was so ugly that I took her to a dog show and she won first prize.
Rodney Dangerfield
I bought a new book, '100 new ways to make love'. I ended up in traction - it was a misprint.
Rodney Dangerfield
When we got married, the first thing my wife did was put everything under both names - hers and her mother's.
Rodney Dangerfield
I'll tell you one thing, I know how to satisfy my wife in bed, yeah, I leave.
Rodney Dangerfield
I once met a beautiful, proper English girl. I bid her adieu.... she bid me a don't.
Rodney Dangerfield
