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I've never been lucky. The day my ship came in, I was at the airport.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Never
Airport
Airports
Ship
Ships
Lucky
Came
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
My kid wants to be a prison warden when he grows up so he can put thumb tacks on the electric chairs.
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It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.
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I'm getting so old my insurance company sends me 1/2 a calendar!
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My wife has to be the worst cook. I don't believe meatloaf should glow in the dark
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I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
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My old man never liked me. He gave me my allowance in traveler's checks.
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One night she told me to put out the garbage. I told her you cooked it, you take it out.
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If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness.
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I have three kids, one of each.
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To give you an idea how well I was doing at the time I quit, I was the only one who knew I quit.
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Oh, I was an ugly kid. My old man took me to the zoo. They thanked him for returning me.
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A sense of humor is rare. It isn't telling a joke about how there are three ways to get to heaven. It's being in a restaurant and hearing someone say, Everyone's got their tale of woe, and then turning around and saying, Unfortunately, in life, there's more woe than tail.
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I come from a stupid family. During the civil war my great uncle fought for the west.
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I tell ya, it's tough to save a buck. Right now I'm supporting two fighters. My wife and her mother.
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When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
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I went to a freak show and they let me in for nothing.
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I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
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For two hours, some guy followed me around with a pooper scooper.
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Sure I smoked pot in hospital. My wife won't let me toke at home.
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My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
Rodney Dangerfield
