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I've never been lucky. The day my ship came in, I was at the airport.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Lucky
Came
Never
Airport
Airports
Ship
Ships
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
My wife says 90% of sex occurs between the ears. But I need a girl who can blow more just my mind.
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It was the same thing in the army, no respect. They gave me a uniform that glowed in the dark.
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I come from a stupid family. During the civil war my great uncle fought for the west.
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I told my kids, Someday, you'll have kids of your own. One of them said, So will you.
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When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
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Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
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My father gave me a bat for Christmas. The first time I tried to play with it, it flew away.
Rodney Dangerfield
I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
Rodney Dangerfield
To give you an idea how well I was doing at the time I quit, I was the only one who knew I quit.
Rodney Dangerfield
With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
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When we got married my wife told me I was one in a million. I found out she was right.
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One night I came home. I figured, let my wife come on. I'll play it cool. Let her make the first move. She went to Florida.
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My wife has to be the worst cook. I don't believe meatloaf should glow in the dark
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It's great to have gray hair. Ask anyone who's bald.
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My mother used to rock me - and she used big rocks.
Rodney Dangerfield
I get no respect... I tell you, when I was born, the doctor smacked my mother
Rodney Dangerfield
One year they asked me to be poster boy - for birth control.
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife can't cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.
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My sex life is like shooting pool with a rope!
Rodney Dangerfield
I asked my wife, 'On a scale of 1 to 10, how do you rate me as a lover?' She said, 'You know I'm no good at fractions.'
Rodney Dangerfield
