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I'm not a sexy guy. I went to a hooker. I dropped my pants. She dropped her price.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Funny
Hooker
Dropped
Pants
Sexy
Price
Humor
Went
Guy
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, Are you going to hate yourself in the morning? She said, No, I hate myself now.
Rodney Dangerfield
She was so fat that her bathtub has stretch marks.
Rodney Dangerfield
When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
Rodney Dangerfield
At Christmas time we couldn't afford tinsel, so we'd wait till grandpa sneezed.
Rodney Dangerfield
Guy goes into a bar with a duck under his arm. Bartender says, Where'd you get the pig? Guy says, This is a duck. Bartender says, I was talking to the duck.
Rodney Dangerfield
What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
Rodney Dangerfield
When I told my wife she was lousy in bed - she went out - she got a second opinion.
Rodney Dangerfield
I once had a problem ... so I tried group sex. Now I have a new problem - who to thank.
Rodney Dangerfield
When I was a kid I got no respect. I told my mother, I'm gonna run away from home. She said, On your mark.
Rodney Dangerfield
And my girlfriend, she's FAT! How fat? She's so fat she wears two watches-one for each time zone!
Rodney Dangerfield
I don't get no respect. I called Suicide Prevention. They tried to talk me into it.
Rodney Dangerfield
With my old man I got no respect. He told me never take candy from a stranger unless he offered me a ride.
Rodney Dangerfield
I went to a freak show and they let me in for nothing.
Rodney Dangerfield
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.
Rodney Dangerfield
When I was born the doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, Look, twins!
Rodney Dangerfield
A sense of humor is rare. It isn't telling a joke about how there are three ways to get to heaven. It's being in a restaurant and hearing someone say, Everyone's got their tale of woe, and then turning around and saying, Unfortunately, in life, there's more woe than tail.
Rodney Dangerfield
The shape I'm in, I could donate my body to science fiction.
Rodney Dangerfield
When I was a kid I got no respect. When I went on the roller coaster, my old man told me to stand up straight.
Rodney Dangerfield
Oh, I was an ugly kid. My old man took me to the zoo. They thanked him for returning me.
Rodney Dangerfield
During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me… Just the other night she called me from a hotel.
Rodney Dangerfield
