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I can't get no respect.

Rodney Dangerfield

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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Complaining
Respect
Complaints

More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

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Sure I smoked pot in hospital. My wife won't let me toke at home.
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My wife is so fat that the last time I saw something that big it was grazing.
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The other night a mugger took off his mask and made me wear it.
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I don't get no respect
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We were poor. we were so poor, in my neighborhood the rainbow was in black-and-white.
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I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
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My car broke down just the other day, I called triple A, they came and towed me away!
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My sex life is terrible my wife put a mirror over the dog's bed. Actually she did put a mirror over our bed. She says she likes to watch herself laugh.
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My wife has teeth like the stars... they come out at night.
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I come from a stupid family. My uncle heard that most deaths occurs within ten miles of the house...so he moved.
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My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.
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One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!
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You take care and I hope I'll run into you - when I'm driving.
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His breath is so bad why every time he smokes he blows onion rings.
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I tell ya, my wife was never nice. On our first date, I asked her if I could give her a goodnight kiss on the cheek - she bent over!
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When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
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What a dog I got, he found out we look alike, so he killed himself.
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I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor they sent a priest up to talk to me and he said, ' On your mark...'
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I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
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My wife can't cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.
Rodney Dangerfield