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My mother used to rock me - and she used big rocks.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Used
Climbing
Rock
Rocks
Funny
Bigs
Mother
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
I walked in on my wife and the milkman, the first thing she says is don't tell the butcher!
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My childhood was bad. No father. Mother was greedy and brought me up awful - never made me breakfast once. I don't want to get started. One story is worse than another.
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I can't get no respect.
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My wife made me join a bridge club... I jump off next Tuesday.
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I don't get no respect
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A hooker once told me she had a headache.
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My wife says 90% of sex occurs between the ears. But I need a girl who can blow more just my mind.
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She was so fat that her bikini is made out of two bed sheets (king-size).
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With sex my wife thinks twice before she turns me down. Yeah, once in the morning and once at night.
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I once met a beautiful, proper English girl. I bid her adieu.... she bid me a don't.
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My son's an idiot. He sprained his ankle playing golf. He fell off the ballwasher.
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I had a date with an inflatable girl. Now I got an inflatable guy looking for me.
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Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'
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I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
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I got myself good this morning too. I did my pushups in the nude, I didn't see the mouse trap.
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My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.
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my wifes cooking is so bad the flys fix our screens
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I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
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I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
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My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
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