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I asked my wife, 'Is there somebody else?' She said, 'There MUST be.'
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Asked
Somebody
Wife
Else
Must
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
And my girlfriend, she's FAT! How fat? She's so fat she wears two watches-one for each time zone!
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You live with life's disappointments and learn from them. At seventy-eight, I know it all.
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Oh, I was an ugly kid. My old man took me to the zoo. They thanked him for returning me.
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Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
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With my dog I don't get no respect. He keeps barking at the front door. He don't want to go out. He wants me to leave.
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My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
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My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
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What a dog I got. Last night he went on the paper four times - three while I was reading it.
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A homeless guy came up to me on the street, said he hadn't eaten in four days. I told him, Man, I wish I had your willpower.
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We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
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My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
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I am the world's oldest teenager. I've never lost my youthful attitude.
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This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.
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When I go to a nude beach, I always take a ruler, just in case I have to prove something.
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My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
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I once met a beautiful, proper English girl. I bid her adieu.... she bid me a don't.
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When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
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I don't get no respect
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My wife she's fat. Why, if she lost a few pounds, she'd be perfectly round.
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What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
Rodney Dangerfield
