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I asked my wife, 'Is there somebody else?' She said, 'There MUST be.'
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Else
Must
Asked
Somebody
Wife
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness.
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I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
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I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
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One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!
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Better to keep quiet and let people think you're an idiot than speak up and confirm it.
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I know I'm not sexy. In high school I was voted Most Likely to Masturbate.
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My car broke down just the other day, I called triple A, they came and towed me away!
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When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.
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I don't get no respect. I called Suicide Prevention. They tried to talk me into it.
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Oh, I was an ugly kid. My old man took me to the zoo. They thanked him for returning me.
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She was so fat that her bathtub has stretch marks.
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I recently had double-bypass surgery. As they wheel you in, the doctor always gives you a last look. You know that look. That look of confidence to make you feel good. I always say to every doctor, If I don't make it, I'll never know it.
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I once met a beautiful, proper English girl. I bid her adieu.... she bid me a don't.
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I told my doctor I think my wife has VD. He gave himself a shot of penicillin.
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During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me… Just the other night she called me from a hotel.
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Life is just a bowl of pits.
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They say love thy neighbor as thy self , what am I supposed to do jerk him off too?
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I once had a problem ... so I tried group sex. Now I have a new problem - who to thank.
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What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
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When I told my wife she was lousy in bed - she went out - she got a second opinion.
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