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I asked my wife, 'Is there somebody else?' She said, 'There MUST be.'
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Asked
Somebody
Wife
Else
Must
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
I got myself good this morning too. I did my pushups in the nude, I didn't see the mouse trap.
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My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
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I'm a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping tom booing me.
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He who laughs last didn't get it in the first place.
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A man in the crowd asks: Hey Rodney, how'd you get started? Rodney: I was 12 years old, alone in my room, and I got started!
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My cousin is gay, I always tell him that in our family tree, he's in the fruit section.
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My only thrill is self inflicted hickies.
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At my age I'm envious of a stiff wind.
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I tell ya, I knew my morning wasn't going right. When I put on my shirt the button fell off, when I picked up my briefcase, the handle fell off, I tell ya, I was afraid to go to the bathroom.
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I told my dentist I want a tooth to match the others. He gave my one with four cavities.
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I asked my wife if she would put out the garbage. she said why should I you never put out for me.
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I'd like to get some new clothes, but I can't find a Big and Short store.
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Man, who don't like spaghetti?
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I come from a stupid family. During the civil war my great uncle fought for the west.
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I walked in on my wife and the milkman, the first thing she says is don't tell the butcher!
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I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor they sent a priest up to talk to me and he said, ' On your mark...'
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I was an ugly child. I got lost on the beach. I asked a cop if he could find my parents. He said, 'I don't know. There's lots of places for them to hide'.
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They took a survey: Why do men get up in the middle of the night? Ten percent get up to go to the bathroom and 90 percent get up to go home.
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my wifes cooking is so bad the flys fix our screens
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When we got married my wife told me I was one in a million. I found out she was right.
Rodney Dangerfield
