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My cousin is gay, in school while other kids were dissecting frog, he was opening flies.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Flies
Cousin
Gay
Opening
Humor
Dissecting
Funny
Frog
Kids
Frogs
School
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
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What a dog I got. Last night he went on the paper four times - three while I was reading it.
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She failed her drivers test. She couldn't get used to the front seat. It took her four lessons to learn to sit up.
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My wife was afraid of the dark. Then she saw me naked, and now she's afraid of the light.
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My wife says 90% of sex occurs between the ears. But I need a girl who can blow more just my mind.
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I bought a perfect second car... a tow truck.
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I asked my wife, 'Is there somebody else?' She said, 'There MUST be.'
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I told my kids, Someday, you'll have kids of your own. One of them said, So will you.
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People ask if I can get it up in the morning. I tell them are you kidding I'm envious of a stiff wind.
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When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.
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I can't get no respect.
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Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
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I'm sitting on top of the world, and I've got hemorrhoids.
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What a dog I got, he found out we look alike, so he killed himself.
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I don't get no respect. I called Suicide Prevention. They tried to talk me into it.
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Oh, when I was a kid, I was poor. Christmas, I got no presents. Well, there was one Christmas, on our front lawn - Prancer and Dancer - they dropped off a little something.
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When I was a kid I got no respect. I had no friends. I remember the see-saw. I had to keep runnin' from one end to the other.
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I'm a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping tom booing me.
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My only thrill is self inflicted hickies.
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When I was a kid I got no respect. When I went on the roller coaster, my old man told me to stand up straight.
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