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My cousin is gay, in school while other kids were dissecting frog, he was opening flies.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Gay
Opening
Humor
Funny
Dissecting
Kids
Frog
School
Frogs
Flies
Cousin
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.
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I asked my wife if she would put out the garbage. she said why should I you never put out for me.
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I once dated a girl that was wild. She was so wild that one night she gave her phone number to the mechanical bull.
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I told my doctor I think my wife has VD. He gave himself a shot of penicillin.
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He who laughs last didn't get it in the first place.
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For two hours, some guy followed me around with a pooper scooper.
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My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
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My wife was afraid of the dark. Then she saw me naked, and now she's afraid of the light.
Rodney Dangerfield
Hey, did somebody step on a duck?
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With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
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Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
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A hooker once told me she had a headache.
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I figured out I'm bisexual. I have sex twice a year.
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When we got married my wife told me I was one in a million. I found out she was right.
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My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
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When I was forty, I was getting divorced, living in a low-class, dirty hotel in New York. My mother was dying of cancer. I owed $20,000. That was about the lowest. I came back to show business, and I couldn't get a job. I was turned down by every small-time agent in New York.
Rodney Dangerfield
I can't get no respect.
Rodney Dangerfield
When I was born the doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, Look, twins!
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She was so ugly that I took her to a dog show and she won first prize.
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My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
Rodney Dangerfield
