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My cousin is gay, in school while other kids were dissecting frog, he was opening flies.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
School
Frogs
Flies
Cousin
Gay
Opening
Humor
Funny
Dissecting
Kids
Frog
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
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One year they asked me to be poster boy - for birth control.
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When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.
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I don't get no respect
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When it comes to sex, at my age I like threesomes. In case one of us dies.
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I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
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With sex my wife thinks twice before she turns me down. Yeah, once in the morning and once at night.
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I tell ya, my wife was never nice. On our first date, I asked her if I could give her a goodnight kiss on the cheek - she bent over!
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He who laughs last didn't get it in the first place.
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What a dog I got. Last night he went on the paper four times - three while I was reading it.
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I was an ugly child. I got lost on the beach. I asked a cop if he could find my parents. He said, 'I don't know. There's lots of places for them to hide'.
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One night I came home. I figured, let my wife come on. I'll play it cool. Let her make the first move. She went to Florida.
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I bought a perfect second car... a tow truck.
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I told my doctor I think my wife has VD. He gave himself a shot of penicillin.
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I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor they sent a priest up to talk to me and he said, ' On your mark...'
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She was so fat that her bathtub has stretch marks.
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With my dog I don't get no respect. He keeps barking at the front door. He don't want to go out. He wants me to leave.
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All my wife and I do is fight about sex. The other night, we really had it out. Well, I'll put it this way - I had it out.
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Boy is my wife stupid. It takes her and hour and a half to watch 60 minutes. My daughters no bargain either. In public school she was voted most likely to conceive.
Rodney Dangerfield
